


The Funeral

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On hearing of one of his former soldier's death, Loghain goes into the Alienage to express his condolences to her daughter and her family. A year later, Tabris seeks him out for aid in order to escape her Grey Warden conscription. Written for a very loose kink-meme request.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The news of Adaia's death hit Loghain surprisingly hard. He had known her no better or worse than any of the others who had served in the Night Elves. She had been one of the younger archers. Always better with a blade than a bow. She had a hearty chuckle and a pretty smile. But he had not seen her for nearly three decades. It should not have shocked him that she had moved into an Alienage, married, had a child. But to see more than twenty years of her life summed up in a quick report left him feeling empty. There had not been many survivors after the war. He had once vowed to share his newfound wealth with them and that their names would be remembered in history.

Yet Adaia Tabris had died in the streets of Denerim, not more than a few blocks away from where he had been staying. She was killed by a city guard when resisting arrest. 45 years old. Her husband was still alive, so was their daughter and a niece and nephew who had been unofficially adopted years ago. 

The report had not even been for him. It laid scrawled upon Cailan's desk, a brief update on security near the Royal Palace. Loghain had only come across it by chance. Upon reading it, he found himself overcome with grief. It took only a few inquiries to discover that the funeral would occur in the Alienage. Only ceremonial. The Royal Guard had refused to release her body to the family. 

Anora insisted that he did not go. The tensions were already so high in the Alienage that if anyone was to recognize him, it would only add tinder to the fire. He ignored his daughter, taking it upon himself to make sure the body was cremated and the ashes delivered to Sister performing the ceremony.

Loghain arrived on foot at the gates of the Alienage. There were only a few humans in the neighbourhood that day and he was regarded with light suspicion. Yet still he was able to come around the great tree, kneeling with the others in prayer for the dead.

He listened silently as the priestess said the familiar prayers for the dead. He had heard them so often during the rebellion; he could repeat them without thinking. Loghain kept his head down respectively, only rising as the priestess lead them into song.

Loghain looked further ahead, seeing the grieving family. The husband was around the same age as himself and he recognized similar features in the young man and woman beside him. The other woman had to be Adaia's daughter. Her skin was darker than her father or cousins, her hair black, her lips red. He could see pieces of the woman he had once known and the strange man in front of him. 

He had intended to leave before the ceremony finished, but upon seeing the family before him, he decided to pay his respects in person. Loghain knew there was little he could say, but it would ease his conscience, if only a little.

He entered the Elder's home, crowded with other mourners. Loghain saw Adaia's widower across the way, but the man was surrounded with friends and family. Rethinking his decision, he went out into the gardens. He could wait for a quieter moment to tell this Tabris how sorry he was. 

Loghain had only sat down on the bench when he saw that he was not alone. The daughter was sitting nearby, leaning against the walls of the Alienage. She looked up, tears still in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I will give you your space."

She shook her head, "Stay if you want. I don't care."

Loghain stood anyways and she asked, "How did you know my mother? She didn't exactly make a lot of shem friends, especially not noblemen."

Loghain looked down at his traveling clothes, realizing the signal of Gwaren was embroidered over his breast pocket. 

"We served in the rebellion together," Loghain said, "I was in the area when I heard what happened. I came to pay my respects but...now I feel that I am intruding. I am sorry for your loss. Please convey my condolences to the rest of your family."

"Mama never talked much about the war," the daughter said thoughtfully, "She never talked about the company she served with, except to mention a letter or two she received when I was little. She must have been something for a man like you to remember her."

"I remember all of my soldiers," Loghain admitted, "They lived and died beside me. I have neglected them in the years onward...that is a failing on my part. This is not the rightful end to a hero's life."

She patted the ground beside her and Loghain hesitated before sitting down.

She said bitterly, "It was my fault. She was on the lam the last two years, trying to keep a low profile. Mama had just escaped from Drakon. She was there for...well, Mama was a bit of a vigilante. Protected the poor and weak from humans who tried to take advantage. Anyways, she was wanted and this time decided to keep a low profile. Papa was worried; the city guards were getting more serious. We were walking in the market and there was this man...I should have just gone with him. It happens to every Alienage woman at least once in her life, but I didn't want it to be me. I fought back, I screamed. Mama came to help me, someone recognized her. She was trying to give me time to run away so she fought back the guard and then...well..."

Loghain said softly, "That wasn't your doing."

"It's easy for you to say that," she replied, "You get to leave today and think how awful all of this was and perhaps you should throw money at the poor and feel better about yourself. But I have to live with this. If I weren’t so prideful, my mother would still be alive. She just bought me time. One day there will be some nobleman who won't take no for an answer, it happens to everyone. I should have just...accepted that. Maker..."

She started crying and Loghain hesitated before putting his arm around her. She curled into his neck and he stroked her hair.

"I have a daughter, just a little older than you," Loghain murmured. "I would have killed any man who lay a hand on her. It is what we do for our children. We protect them, even with our last breath. Your mother was an incredible woman. This was not your fault. No one should have to accept..."

Loghain continued, "When I was young, younger than you, I saw my mother killed. An Orleasian man...assaulted her and killed her in front of me. I wondered for years if there was something I could have done, some way I could have saved her. One day you will accept it, even if you always wonder."

"I'm sorry," she said.

He shook his head, "I should be comforting you, that is what I meant to do."

She took a deep breath, "I should go back in. Papa will be worried about me."

"Listen," Loghain said, "I will not make an empty promise to your family again. My name is Loghain Mac Tir, Teryn of Gwaren. If you ever have need, send for me. I will not let the Tabris family suffer at the hands of noblemen again. Do you understand?"

She clearly did not believe him when she nodded. He kissed the top of her head before rising. He helped her to her feet and she looked up at him. 

"Thank you for your words," she said politely, "I will tell my father you stopped by."

He could see the fierceness in her face then, the same cool determination as her mother. He had seen a moment of vulnerability, one that he was not meant to witness. 

"I mean it," he promised.

She shook his hand briefly before moving pass him, heading back into the house. He had the sudden urge to follow her, but decided not to. Anora was right, he should not have come here.

***

"There's someone to see you, sir, one of the new Grey Wardens."

Loghain rolled his eyes. The camp had been littered with the Wardens for days, all delivering various messages from Cailan that the man easily could have sent himself. Still, sometimes they were important.

He exited the tent, pausing as he recognized the elven woman ahead of him. 

She asked firmly, "May I speak to you privately?"

Loghain gestured for her to follow inside. He secured the flap and she sat down on his bed. He stood awkwardly before her, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Were you serious when you said I could come to you for help?" She asked.

Loghain asked, "What would you have of me?"

She explained, "Not long ago, I was in trouble with the law in Denerim. I was conscripted in order to prevent my arrest, but it was against my will. You have power and respect. I want you to release me from service."

"What did you do?"

"I killed the Bann's son," she said, "He raped my cousin. Tried to rape me. So I killed him. I am willing to go to prison and even hang for the crime. But I do not want to be here. You said you would help my family, so help me."

Loghain sighed, sitting down beside her, "The Wardens' right of conscription is above the laws of the King. I could not stop it with any influence I have."

"Then speak to the Warden-Commander," she begged. "Please. I am afraid. I do not want to die here in the woods full of monsters. If I am to die, let me die like my mother, let me die for my people. I owe these shems nothing. You should understand that. Please..."

Her hand rested on his and a wave of heat passed through him. Loghain understood what she was offering in exchange. He pulled away.

"I will see what I can do," he promised, "But it is unlikely I will be able to help you. I am sorry."

"I knew I shouldn't have bothered," she muttered, rising to leave.

"I will speak to Cailan," he said, coming to her side, "What is your first name?"

"Aria," she replied quietly.

"Stay here," he instructed, tilting her chin up to look at him, "Do not leave my tent. The guard will keep the other Wardens out for now. Have a meal, a bath, whatever you need. I will be back when I can."

She pulled away and nodded. Loghain left the tent, instructing his guards to keep watch over her. He went over to the King's tent, ignoring the young woman who scurried out. Inside, Cailan was dressing.

"Loghain," he greeted, "How goes the preparations?"

"I have a favour to ask, your Majesty," Loghain said.

"What do you need?" Cailan asked, rebraiding his hair.

"There is a Warden recruit who has not yet joined the Order," Loghain explained. "She is the daughter of one who served with me during the rebellion. She was conscripted against her will and wishes permission to return home. I have promised to look out for her family, I do not wish to go back on my word."

"I'm sorry," Cailan said, tying the laces on his overshirt, "You know that the Right of Conscription is above any law I have."

"She is young and she is scared," Loghain argued, "You know I do not believe in drafting recruits, no matter what army. Someone should fight because it is what is right, not because they are forced to."

"If I made an exception for every scared soldier, I wouldn't have an army," Cailan chuckled, "She'll be fine. The Wardens only pick the best and bravest of the country. She wouldn't have been picked if they didn't think she could handle it."

"They pick those who have no where else to go," Loghain argued. "Please. I would not ask if it were not important."

Cailan asked with a smile, "Do you have a bit of a crush on her? That's rather sweet. I haven't seen you interested in anyone in all the time I've known you. She must be rather pretty for a Warden. I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to have a little fun, there's no harm in that. I suppose I could ask Duncan if he was willing to part with her."

Loghain was tempted to slap him across the face but merely said, "Thank you."

"I'll send a messenger to him. I'll have him send something to you directly afterwards. Go back to your strategies, Loghain, and your little minx. I hope you have a good time," Cailan said, patting him on the back, "You definitely deserve it."

Loghain smiled bitterly before leaving the tent and marching back to his own. The young woman was out of the majority of her travelling clothes, washing her hair in a basin on the table. She looked up, drying her hair roughly.

"Any word?" She asked nervously.

"None yet," he said, "but he will speak to Duncan. We only have to wait."

She continued washing and he went to his desk, looking over his battle plans. He glanced up only briefly as she took off her shirt, before looking back down with a slight blush. The woman had travelled for days straight, it was only natural she would want to get as clean as she could.

"I have some clean clothes if you wish," he said, trying not to look up, "They will be too large for you, but perhaps until we can find you something a little shorter."

"These clothes are too large already," she replied, "I was still in my wedding dress when Duncan whisked me off. These are from some washer woman in Lothering who was almost a foot taller than me."

"Wedding dress?"

She hesitated before saying, "It was my wedding day when it all happened. My fiancé died trying to rescue me. I did not know him well, but it was...tragic. He was a good man, a brave man."

"I am sorry," Loghain said softly, "It seems you have not had the easiest year since we last saw each other."

She sighed, "Not really, no."

Loghain rose and brought out a pair of trousers and a linen shirt for her. She dressed with her back to him before turning to face him again. The stays that hung near his collarbone fell between her breasts, the shirt flowing loosely around her belly and the top of her legs. The rest of her legs were bare. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"For a noble you have an odd sense of decency," she teased.

"Considering everything you have told me," Loghain replied, "I must take extra care to make you feel safe in my company. I am not a man who takes advantage."  
She lay on the bed, her long hair fanning beneath her. She closed her eyes, pulling the quilt around her.

"Tell me when you hear anything," she murmured tiredly.

He settled back to work, willing his heart to slow down. The woman was used to using sex to manipulate men like him. He didn't blame her, it was a survival tactic he had seen many use before. But it didn't stop him from wanting her regardless.

She was still asleep when the page brought him dinner. He supped quietly, but still she woke, yawning deeply. She came over to his desk and he moved, letting her sit down to eat the rest. He took his goblet of wine and went to the settee, drinking it slowly.

She walked over to him, taking his goblet in hand. She drank from his cup, her eyes on his. She straddled his lap, putting the glass on the table. She kissed down his neck, playing with the stays on his shirt.

"We shouldn't," he groaned, "It isn't right, I'm not doing this for that...you don't need to-"

He kissed her hard, grasping at the back of her head. She moaned, grinding against him. He picked her up, her legs wrapped around his thighs. He carried her over to the bed and tossed her down, kissing her hungrily. She unlaced his pants, pushing down his smallclothes low enough that could take his slowly hardening cock in her hands. He groaned, watching as she slid down the bed, taking him into her mouth. He moaned as she stroked his shaft, her mouth licking down his slit. He watched himself grow hard in her mouth, the head of his cock pushing against her lips.

She pulled his trousers to his ankles and he kicked them aside. She rested on her hands and knees before him, presenting her wet sex. He knelt behind her and slid slowly into her, grasping her breast beneath her shirt...his shirt. He could feel the other brush against his hand, her body moving into his as he filled her. His other hand went to her hardened clit and he circled it slowly. 

He thrust into her and she shuddered. With a groan, he thrust harder, gripping into her breast. She grinded against him and he moaned, feeling her pussy tighten around him. His skin slapped against hers and his hand moved to her hip, his nails digging in as the other rubbed furiously at her clit.

She moaned his name and he shifted slightly, his cock brushing harder at the swollen mound beneath her clit. She shook around him, grunting. He thrust harder, losing himself in the action, unaware of anything else but the pulsing heat around him, of the nectar coating his fingers.

He threw his head back as he sputtered into her, grunting. He felt her still beneath him, her breath slowing. He withdrew and went to wash himself at the basin. She lay still in his shirt, a content smile on her lips. He heard one of his guards call for him and he put his trousers back on and retied the laces on his shirt.

"The Warden-Commander, sir. You wished to speak with him?"

Loghain smirked, looking back at the sated elven woman in his bed, "Tell him to come in."

She sat up, covering her legs with the quilt as Duncan came into the tent, flushing slightly.

Loghain said, "I have been told you have been successful and brought many recruits to Ostagar. My request is that you release this one into my custody. I will grant her amnesty for her crimes in Denerim and keep her in my own household as a companion. She has come of her own free will and if my company no longer suits her, she is free to leave. But she has my protection and the protection of Gwaren. I suggest in order to keep your political standing in my country, you agree to my offer."

He glanced back, Aria smiling at him and mouthing, "Thank you."

Duncan replied, "I have used the Right of Conscription. Legally, she belongs to the Wardens now."

"If you want to take her, you'll have to go through me first," Loghain threatened.

Tabris rose, standing behind Loghain. He imagined what she looked like to Duncan now. Disheveled, his seed running down her leg, his shirt barely covering her breasts. Completely and utterly claimed. 

"If it is my lord's wish," Duncan said bitterly, "Then I will not mark her name in the records. You should not abuse his fondness for you...not even for your own desires."

"You step out of line, Warden," Loghain reminded, "I'd advise you to leave."

Duncan stormed out and Tabris sighed in relief. Loghain kissed her, brushing the hair off of her face. 

"I will send you with a few of the servants to Denerim tonight. You'll stay at my suites in the Royal Palace until I can come for you," he promised, "You'll be safe there."

He kissed her hand and she smiled nervously. 

"Be careful," she pleaded.

He felt foolish when his heart skipped a beat. He let go of her and dressed into his armour. He knew her words were born of self-interest, but a man could pretend, even if just for a little while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to arguably my biggest fan who really wanted a second chapter. I hope you enjoy!

She was the first person he went to once he reached Denerim. He needed to make sure she was alive, that she was still real. 

Loghain found her in his personal chambers, working on her knitting. She looked up and saw him, dropping her craft on the floor. She ran into his arms and he kissed her hard. He closed the door and undid his belt, lowering his trousers just enough to free his cock. She worked on her own clothes, barely getting her top off before he pinned her against the wall. She hiked her skirts up enough to wrap around his hips.

He entered her in a fierce slam, holding her tightly against the wall. She kissed him passionately, her fingers gripping into his back. He thrust harder as she panted, her eyes closing. He kissed down her neck, his teeth scraping her skin as his movements grew more erratic. His knees gave out when he came and he knelt, pulling her hard down on him. She gasped as he sputtered inside of her, burying his face in her neck.

She reassured, "It's okay."

Her hand stroked his face and he pressed his own hand against it. He rose, bringing her to her feet. 

"I will call for a bath," he said quietly. "There is much I must do this evening. You will stay here...if you still wish."

"I would be dead if it wasn't for you," she said. "You saved me from that pack of traitors. I would have died along with them if you didn't protect me."

"That does not mean I own you."

"I want to be here," she said softly, her hand on his waist.

He cupped her chin and kissed her, softly this time. 

"We will stay here tonight," he said, "but we will move to the Palace tomorrow. It will be safer there for us both. I have a suite of rooms there. I'll have my servants take care of your wardrobe and any other things you require. You will not need for anything for as long as you are with me."

"Thank you," she murmured.

Her sincerity caught him off guard and he found a smile crossing his face. He brought her hands to his face and kissed them.

"I will be back tonight," he promised. "I may have need of you then."

***

She stirred, looking up at him. Loghain kissed her shoulder, rising from the bed.

"What is it?" She asked sleepily.

"I have to meet Arl Howe for breakfast this morning," he said, yawning. "I will need more allies in this city. I despise the man, but he is slightly more pleasant when he is eating. I have sent word to Highever, but I have not heard any response from the Couslands. Howe was there recently, he might be able to shed some light."

He chuckled at her puzzled expression, "I forget, pet, that you have no idea who any of these people are. I think it is the thing I like most about you."

She smiled and he kissed her lightly. 

"Will I see you later?" She asked.

"I will be gone most of the day," he said, stroking her cheek. "Go shopping in the markets, buy whatever you like. Enjoy the day. Erlina, my daughter's handmaiden, has expressed an interest in knowing you better. You might find her a good companion."

She yawned, "Later. You have worn me out."

He chuckled, kissing her before rising. He stroked her hair as she closed her eyes. 

"I'll be back later," he promised.

***

Loghain looked up from his desk, unsurprised to see Anora walking into the room. He smiled wearily at his daughter.

"Reports from the south are better than I expected, but still not good," he said. "Ser Cauthrien is sending more of our forces from Gwaren. I've had a page run over to your suites, you must have just missed him."

Anora stood awkwardly before closing the door behind her.

"What I have to say is not as your daughter, but as your Queen," she said cautiously.

"Are you banishing me to Orlais?" He joked, leaning back in his chair. "Sentencing me to a life of mushroom harvesting? Anora, you can talk to me about anything. What is it?"

"I have worries about the...company you are keeping as of late."

"I agree with you that Howe is not my first choice of ally," Loghain agreed, "but he is a shrewd man. I do not have the same experience as he does in politics."

"But I do," Anora protested, "and you know that. I am not a child. I do not need you holding my hand through this. I mourn Cailan, but I am just as capable with him as without him. I am capable enough to know that the darkspawn are what we should worry about. Let these Wardens go. If there are only two, they are hardly a threat. Sic your dog Howe on larger targets."

"Is that all?" Loghain asked, rolling his eyes. "You have said all of this to me before without fidgeting so much."

"It is your consort," Anora said, not hiding the disgust in her voice. "While I have no say in who you take as a paramour, nor do I wish to, you must think of the consequences. Right now, you are my heir apparent. Which means any children you might sire with your little companion would be in line for the throne. I trust you are wise enough to take precautions for if you do not, I will publically choose another in the nobility to succeed me."

Loghain chuckled and asked, "Is that it? Come now, Anora. I have no intention of fathering any other children. You are more than enough for me."

"I just do not trust her," Anora said. "You said yourself she was a Grey Warden recruit. What if they planted her? What if she's a spy?"

Loghain considered telling her the truth then but instead said, "Trust me in this matter, daughter. If you have further worries, you may have some of your men follow her, but they will not see anything suspicious."

Anora put her hands up and said, "Fine. You have not listened to reason thus far, I do not imagine you will start doing so now."

Loghain growled to himself as she left the room, passing Howe as he entered. Loghain signaled him to come over. 

"I have found an agent to carry out your wishes," Howe said quietly. "The Grey Wardens will not be a problem much longer."

***

It was up to him, Howe had said, his hand on his shoulder. He was the Regent, of course, but when presented with the facts, surely he had to agree...

How many times had he heard this in the past few weeks? How many times had he simply nodded over his desk, focusing his attention on the positions of his battalions, on the scrimmages across Ferelden? Whatever happened in Denerim did not matter when the fate of the country rested on his shoulders.

But this...this was something different.

He came into his bedroom and called for his mistress to be brought to him. He was nearly out of his armour when she came in through the door, meekly closing it behind her.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

It seemed only natural to confide in the woman who had shared one's bed for three months, but he knew he couldn't. As much as he wished to. 

"The war drags on too long," he said, putting the last pieces on his stand. 

"I have heard rumours in the marketplace," she said nervously, loosening the stays on his shirt. "Have the Wardens survived?"

He said gruffly, "It appears so, but you have nothing to fear. They will be dealt with soon enough. Get undressed."

Tabris did so without question, laying her clothes on the sette. 

"Get on the bed," he ordered. "On your knees."

She did, presenting her ass in the air. He tossed his trousers to the ground. He knelt just behind her, his hands on her hips. He stroked himself a few times until he was hard enough. He entered her without preparation, feeling her wince beneath him. 

"I will tend to your needs later, pet," he promised with a groan, "but for now, I need release...Maker-"

He pounded into her, hearing her yelp. He sighed, feeling his body tense, coming towards his climax already. He reached forward, gripping onto her breast. She panted beneath him and he shuddered, holding her close before spilling into her. He fell onto his back, catching his breath before pulling her down beside him. He slipped his fingers into her, still slick with him. He rubbed her clit with his thumb, thrusting into her. He grabbed her breast, kissing down her neck until she gasped out. She touched his hand and he stopped.

"Too rough," she whispered.

He withdrew and she rolled onto his chest. He nuzzled into her neck.

"I worry about you," she said, stroking his face.  
He chuckled, "Sometimes I think you believe that yourself."

She frowned, rising. "What's gotten into you?"

"I am not a fool," he said sadly. "I am an opportunity to you. I benefit from it, I do. But this...I am too old and tired to spend so much energy pretending that this is something it is not. So let us be honest with each other. You are my consort, not my lover or wife. You need not concern yourself with me."

She threw a pillow at him and rose, dressing quickly.

He chased after her, grabbing her wrist.

"Let go of me," she demanded.

He did so and she said firmly, "I trust you. I trusted you the day I met you. I went to you at Ostagar because I believed in you. So talk to me. I know the good man you are, Loghain. Whatever you have done...you can tell me."

Loghain sat back on the bed and she sat beside him.

"I sent a man to kill Arl Eamon," he said quietly. "It is one thing to threaten and persuade, but I am now actively at war. He was the queen's brother...Rowan and I, we were quite close. I know it is the right thing to do. He would turn the country against itself. It is better that one man die in his sleep than have his army turn against ours...but I wonder what more lines I will have to cross."

She straddled his lap and kissed him tenderly. He held her close to him as she whispered, "Thank you for trusting me. Don't keep these things from me."

He looked into her eyes and promised, "When this is over, I will take you with me to Gwaren. I will buy you the softest furs and dress you like a princess. Your family will never have to work another day in their lives. Just do not leave me...please."

She murmured, "Never."

***

The first flakes of snow made him homesick. Gwaren would be covered by now, the children out building castles and snow spirits. Perhaps not this winter...mothers would keep their young ones close, fearful of the creatures lurking in the cold. 

Loghain allowed himself a few quiet moments in the garden, watching the snowfall around the dry grass. Then he went back inside. He could not avoid it much longer.

He went up the stairs and into his suites, letting his servants take his coat and boots away. He came upon Tabris near the fire, playing cards with Erlina. The other elven woman saw Loghain and rose, bowing before leaving the room.

"Is it tea already?" She asked happily. "I thought we could dine in the library. I've been making my way through this book, but it'd be so much nicer if someone read it to me. I've been practicing, but it's so hard to focus when all the letters are jumping out. You'll like this one, I promise, it's full of adventure and romance and griffons-"

He smiled weakly and said, "In a little while. There is something I must discuss with you first."

She giggled, picking something out of his hair, "Either it's snowing or you're going white very quickly."

"Pet," he insisted, "this is important."

She frowned as he said, "You can't go to the Alienage anymore."

"What are you-"

"There have been riots for the past three days and they are getting worse. If someone was to recognize you...I don't know what would happen. I will send for your father to come to the Palace and stay with you, but it is not safe for you to leave."

"Loghain-"

"Please trust me," he said softly. "I would not hold you hostage. I just...I fear for you. It would only be a short time, I promise."

She hesitated and then agreed, "Alright. Just for a little while. I'll write to my Dad. I don't think he'll want to leave, but I can always offer. I'm sure it'll be fine, but...if it makes you feel better..."

He held her, closing his eyes. 

"A few days," he promised.

***

"There have been...complications, sire."

Loghain turned around wearily, watching Howe enter the room.

"What now?" He barked.  
"Our friends from Tevinter appear to be delayed. The Alienage is showing further resistance to the virus. It may be at least a week before the processing is complete. If it pleases you, I will send more of my men to guard the gates. We do not want the contagion spreading further."

Loghain snarled, "Do whatever is necessary."

Howe left and Loghain shoved his papers off his desk angrily, banging his fist on the wood. He had given in, little by little, and now he was selling his own people...they would be safer in Tevinter, the Alienage was already gone, and within years they could becomes Tevinter citizens...

Loghain called out for a serving girl to bring Tabris to him. When she entered he closed the door behind her. She kissed him lightly.

"I haven't seen you all day," she said softly. "I missed you."

Guilt ate at him as he murmured, "And I you."

"I was going to go to buy a few books, but I was told that you needed me...and you never showed up. It's all right, I just would have liked to get out. I've just been so cooped up lately."

"I don't want you going out there," Loghain said firmly. "With the Landsmeet approaching, I can't take the risk of someone recognizing you."

"Are you ashamed of me?" She laughed. "Your young hot elven mistress? If anything, people will be jealous."

"I'm worried about someone hurting you to get to me."

"I can handle myself," she promised, "you know that."

"I don't," he argued. "You came to me to protect you and now I'm doing it. You want to fulfill your end of the bargain? Stay here."

"What the Void is wrong with you?" She asked, shivering. "What's going on? You told me you would talk to me. For all these months, you have told me everything and I have never stopped caring about you. I will not leave you."

"You will never forgive me," he admitted.

"Dear God," she murmured, her eyes meeting his, "what have you done?"

"I am not beholden to you," he growled angrily. "You are not my wife nor my queen. I will make what decisions I need to and I do not need your blessing. You will not leave this Palace until you have my approval."

"Go to hell," she spat, marching out of the room.

He went after her, following her into their bedroom. He locked the door behind them and she pushed him away.

"I've killed one nobleman," she warned, "and I'll do it again if I need to."

Loghain put his hands up and said, "I am not trying to hurt you."

"Then why are you treating me like a criminal?" She asked. 

"I'm trying to keep you safe," he insisted. "You are acting like a child. Do you know what happens to women like you in war? I...I care about you. I would not have survived the last half-year without you. If something were to happen to you...Maker, I would never forgive myself."

Her breathing slowed as he continued, his voice shaking, "I trust you. More than anyone else in my life. But there are some things I cannot tell you. They would only put you in danger."

"I was recruited to be a Grey Warden," she reminded. "I slaughtered my way through an entire Estate in order to save my cousin's life. I survived almost two decades in the Alienage. I am my mother's daughter. You trusted her to follow you into battle. Why won't you trust me?"

His heart sank in his chest as she stared at him, daring him to reply.

"I will keep you under watch," he murmured quietly, "until the Landsmeet is over."

"You bastard! You son of-"

Loghain left the room, locking it behind him. 

***

Tabris knit fiercely, listening to the heavy footsteps outside her door. After what sounded like a scuffle, she heard the mechanism unlock. She stood, tossing her craft onto the table.

The woman took off her helmet and said with a smile, "I'm Warden Amell. I've come to rescue you."

***

Tabris watched the two Wardens talk angrily. She recognized Alistair from description. He was older than she had expected. Loghain had made him out to be closer to a teenager. She waited impatiently, letting them decide.

"You want to force her then? Just toss her over the coals-"

"I'm saying we can't trust her and even if we could, does that bastard deserve-"

"If it stops more bloodshed then yes, I think we can promise her that. She's trying to do the right then. Duncan thought she was worth being one of us, Alistair. That has to mean something."

He grew quiet before finally murmuring, "Fine."

Amell sighed and turned back to Tabris. The mage knelt down before her, putting her hand on the elf's knee.

"Tell me whatever you know," Amell said quietly. "When the Landsmeet is over, you will be given full amnesty. And Loghain...if he can be spared, he will be. I don't know how much I can promise, but if it is at all possible, he will not die."

Tabris shook, trying not to cry.

"I think he's destroying the Alienage," she whispered. "I think he might be selling elves into slavery...Maker, please, I know he's a good man. He's been suffering all these months and he's trying, he just...he's lost his way. Please don't hurt him."

Alistair laughed in disgust and Amell pushed him away.

"I will try," she promised. "We'll bring you to Arl Eamon's Estate, you'll be safe there."

"Bring me back home," Tabris said. 

"She's going to report on us," Alistair argued.

Amell glanced at Tabris and replied, "You're worried he's going to notice you're missing, right? Will you be safe if you go back?"

Tabris nodded and reassured, "He won't hurt me."

Alistair said quietly, "This is a bad idea."

"Zevran will sneak her back in. Luckily he's gotten better with locks. If you need us, contact us."

Tabris nodded before rising. The mage embraced her and Tabris froze slightly.

"I would have been honoured to have you as my sister," Amell said softly. 

In that moment, Tabris saw what her life could have been for the past year. She hated that she did not regret joining them. The last year without Loghain...it was not something she wanted to imagine. But this...this had to be done. For his own sake.

***

Tabris walked slowly through the halls, trying to not be suspicious. If anyone asked, she had spent the past few hours in the library, which was not unreasonable. Few people paid much attention to her, only to make sure she did not leave the Palace. 

She went back to her shared suites with Loghain and sat on the bed, trying to catch her breath. Once she had settled and fixed her hair, she went into the sitting room. She had several hours of knitting to catch up on if she was going to make it appear she had been there the whole time.

***

Near dinnertime she heard the door open and she looked up, expecting to see Loghain. She stood, smoothing out her dress. She froze as she saw Arl Howe standing in the doorframe, a menacing grin crossing his face.

"There you are," he chuckled. "Anora wanted to see you. I said I'd check in on you, see how Loghain's little flower was. It was strange that when I asked your handmaidens, none of them seemed to know where you were. I wouldn't have thought anything of it at first, but then I heard about some trouble in the Alienage earlier today..."

Tabris backed up, starting to cry out when he covered her mouth with his hand.

"I warned him," he said, sneering, "I warned him you would run to those Wardens the minute you had a chance. And you waited, just for the right moment, didn't you?"

She bit his fingers but he held on, pushing her against the wall.

"It will be so easy to just be rid of you now," Howe chuckled. "How long would it be until someone noticed? Then when Loghain realizes your betrayal, he'll just assume you've left him. I think I'll spare my old friend the pain of knowing what you've done."

She punched at him but he grasped her wrists, twisting them behind him. She yelped, her sounds muffled as she was gagged. Howe wrapped her hands in his belt, his knee pining into her stomach. When she was trussed, he pulled her close.

She kicked him squarely in the knee and he cried out in pain. She tried to run out but he caught her and threw her to the floor. She struggled as he laughed. She tried to headbutt him but he flipped her on her back, pining her down. He put his hand on her throat and gripped. She coughed, trying to push him back. Her vision began to blur and she tried to stay awake. She heard the door slam open and felt the pressure release. 

"Sire, I-"

Her eyes widened with shock as the door slammed shut. Howe was thrown away from her.

"She's betrayed you!" Howe bellowed. "Betrayed Ferelden! She went to the Wardens, Loghain! She's one of them now."

Tabris watched in shock as Howe thrashed, Loghain's hands around his neck. Loghain snapped his neck and let him drop to the ground. 

Tabris shook as Loghain knelt beside her, unbinding her. 

"Did that bastard touch you?" He growled.

Tabris gestured to her throat and Loghain kissed her tender skin. He undid the belt around her wrists and rubbed them. She looked up at him, tears running down her face.

"He was right," she rasped. 

"Don't speak," he ordered. "We'll move into another room and a physician will look at you. It will be alright."

She shook her head and he held her to him.

***

He let Anora deal with the fallout of Howe's death. He told he would face murder charges, whatever she wanted, whatever needed to be said in order for him to return to his injured lover.

Loghain burst into their new room, seeing Tabris lying on her side, looking out the window. He sat beside her and she startled slightly.

"How is your throat?" He asked.

"I'm okay," she said quietly.

"You're safe," he promised. "I won't leave your side, not again. That bastard...I...Anora was right, I should have listened to her instead of that lying-"

"He didn't lie."

Loghain froze as she rose, turning to face him.

"I went to the Wardens," she murmured. "I told them what you did...all of it, Loghain. I knew my family was in danger. I knew it was the only way to stop you."

Loghain asked slowly, "Was this your plan all along?"

"No!" She protested. "I never wanted to hurt you. Loghain, we both know you're going to lose. We've both known it for weeks. I thought this way I could give you a chance. I gave them information in exchange for your life."

Loghain said angrily, "My life? You were willing to throw everything away for _my life_? Why should I believe that?"

"Because I came back!" She shouted, her voice breaking. "I could have run, but I came back because I love you."

Loghain's heart raced as she continued weakly, "I love you. You said you were doing whatever you could to protect me...and this is what I could do to protect you. You've lost your way...you..."

Loghain's hands shook and he realized he was crying. 

"You should go back to the Wardens," he whispered. 

"I don't want to leave you," she pleaded.

He stood and murmured, "You already have."

***

He did not look at her when he is brought from the Landsmeet chambers and to his Joining. He refused to think of her when the chalice goes to his lips. She had betrayed him; she had led him here. 

Yet she was by his side when he woke up, wiping a cool cloth against his skin. He grasped her wrist but then softened. Without thinking, he kissed her softly. Yet he knew as they part that it is over. Whatever she has said, she cannot love the man he has become. He knew he couldn’t love that man either.

When he rose, shaky as a newborn colt, her hand touched his lightly. He grasped her fingers before letting go. He followed the other Wardens, leaving the elven woman alone on the tiled floor.


End file.
